Hunter-Lyn On January 10, 2002, I went to my regular weekly check up. I was so excited I was ready to find out how my son Hunter-Lyn Madison Lobdell was doing. I was due any time, what a heartbreak it was to find out that my son was dead. What happened, How could this happen? Many of my questions went unanswered. At 6:00pm I went to the hospital to give birth to my son. Knowing he was already gone I had decided to have a c-section. At 7:01pm my son Hunter-Lyn was delivered stillborn. He was perfect. The most beautiful little boy ever. How could this happen? I did everything by the book. I had the most perfect pregnancy. I was never sick, no morning sickness, no cramps, no food irritations, just a perfect pregnancy.
Knowing what I know now, I would have done things differently. I would have held my son, talked to him. I would have let him know just how much I loved him, and wanted him. I never did that. I was scared, I didn't know how I would react to him. I did see him but only for a moment. When a tragedy happens in an instant you have to make the decisions right away. The decisions I made were while I was under the influence of a lot of drugs due to surgery, I didn't know what was going on. The choices I made were right for me at that time. It wasn't until about 3 days later that I regretted the choices I had made. If you read this you probably know what IM going through. It is tough. The toughest thing I have ever had to deal with. Many people say " your young you can have another baby" I don't want another baby I want the one I cant have.